Monday, July 2, 2007

Bar Talk

Overheard Friday Night at the Bar /6-29-07
(Purty much reported as close to verbatim as possible)

"I’m not gonna believe a guy who probably still sniffs his mother’s ass."

"Clemens is a washed-up-millionare-baby-roid-guy-with-a-huge-head and a chub master who couldn’t find the seventh inning even with a box score in his hands."

"My father used to say Narraganset beer was nothing more Cranston rat piss".

"Do you think this place will ever have Karaoke?"

"I gotta move next weekend, do you know anybody who could hook me up with some crank?"

"When she bends over you can see all the way to China."

"They should ban Bob Dylan from that jukebox, every song sounds like a cat caught in the spokes of a bicycle."

"I love Providence cuz it’s like one big local bar where the street dirtballs sit right next to the wannabe models right next to crooked politicians and everybody’s still talking about goddamn Cianci."

"I don’t know whether to drink heavy or hard, or hard and heavy."


mdoggie said...

The last time I was in a pub was on St. Patricks Day, in Seattle. I was sitting at the bar next to these two jovial gents and couldn't help overhearing.
Jovial Gent 1: "Excuse me sir, but I noticed yer brogue, so yer from Ireland are ya?"
Jovial Gent 2: "That I am sir, and it would seem you are too by the lilt in yer voice."
JV1: "Sure I am, I hail from Dublin. "
JV2: "Well isn't that amazin then as I grew up in Dublin town!"
JV1: "Truly sir, and what high school did ya attend?"
JV2: "I graduated from St. Joseph's Academy in 1984."
JV1: "I can't believe it fine sir, would ya believe I went to St Joe's and matriculated the very same year?"
JV2: "Truly amazing! bartender please bring this fine lookin' young man another drink!"
JV1: "No no, allow me fine sir..."

The bartender filled both their glasses and then stopped in front of me, gave me look and shook his head, " The Sullivan twins are drunk again."

Charlie Drago said...


I was there. You missed a few.

"The sister's back. Man, that's forty yards of good time." (You know exactly who I mean.)

"She's got more chins than the Peking phonebook."

Q. "Do these jeans make my ass look like the Liberty Bell?"

A. "Nah. The Liberty Bell has a smaller crack."

You must have been busy with the ice bucket.