Bar Talk # 4

Overheard Friday Night (3-5-11) at Nick-A-Nee
Providence, Rhode Island
(Purty much reported as close to verbatim as possible)“

I was freaking rocking it in the luxury box. Rocking it!”

“The guy is not even thinking about do it legislatively; he’s doing it by decree.”

“If the NFL is going to go down for the count I’m worried that my fanatic brother might go down for the count, which makes the players, the owners, and my bro all complete idiots.”

"I always dig the whole Oscar thing, but it got harder and harder to watch Anne Hathaway act like she was making her debut in a ninth-grade version of My Fair Lady while James Franco looked like he left his script out in the back of the van right next his bag of high grade weed.”

“You didn’t think I was actually capable of deep thought.”

“I wonder how many of them are wishing me total ill will upon my departure?”

“The dude singing this song sounds like he warmed up by resting his nuts in a frying pan.”

“Charlie Sheen? He’s the man, laughing his way on the way to the bank via public breakdown and somehow pleasing fans, foes and the rest of the fascinated simultaneously. I’ve never watched his sitcom but I’m totally into the whole tiger blood performance piece.”

"He’s a fool to even think about her, because all she’s interested in is drinking expensive vodka until she starts falling down on top of the closest male with a fat wallet in the vicinity.”

“You play pool like a recovering sex addict. Shaky.”

“Just a little bit of Glenn Beck everyday is enough to make me want to choke the snot outta the next five people I run into.”

“It’s hard times on the planet earth times pie, my brothers.”

"Something’s going awry when Steven Tyler is somehow fresh again. C’mon, the guy looks like a mummified pirate crossed with an organ-grinder’s monkey on acid. I mean Aerosmith plays casinos now, don’t they?”

“Peter Jackson said that he stole a whole lot from Alfred Hitchcock. You remember him right?”

“Hey bubble butt; I love those acid washed jeans.”

“That potent combo of a funeral and a bar always proved irresistible to my ex.”

“I took her to the weenie joint for gaggers and then she told me she was a serious vegetarian.”

“Deer Tick and Low Anthem ought to have a “Who’s More Authentic and Sincere Contest", although they’ll kinda split the townie/ivy league votes.”

"Christine Aguilera looks more and more like Miss Piggy every time you see her.”

“Last time I smoked that guy’s shit it was like I totally went into the Wayback Machine and I couldn’t find Sherman.”

“Bob Giusti is like the minor league, Providence version of Charlie Sheen, just not as hilarious.”