Halloween Treat

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (2009)
by Mark Duhamel

If you want to feel old and young simultaneously, to stand at the gateway of a parallel dimension you never knew existed, to test the limits of your frames-per-second visual tolerance, you should watch this and share with friends. The Japanese seem to accelerate and synthesize our collective pathology into their own, realizing a hyperdrive pop-culture mix-up that tantalizes, repulses, and ultimately redefines what is cool.

This may be the pinnacle of high school hi-jinks hi-def screw gun penetration exploding carotid artery blood spraying-head electro-video magic. Freaks and Geeks multiplied through Glee by way of Welcome Back Kotter on really bad LSD filled with blood spatter physics.

Imagine that you are a Japanese teenage girl with your legs cut off by a vampire and somehow through the genius of your father the vice-principal, your severed legs are mounted to the vertex of your skull where they spin like helicopter blades to propel you through space over the campus.

I'm not kidding, you'll see this and more in this film, and severed limbs reattaching themselves will seem mundane and ordinary compared to other more amazing and blood-spewing-spraying extravaganza images.(On top of it, the audio is pretty amazing.)


I'm serious, I chose this by random association and the inability to resist the iconic title. I may build a genius multimedia traveling horror roadshow around this. Ha ha he he ho ho ho.