Sunday, March 7, 2010

Bar Talk # 3

Overheard Friday Night(3-5-10at Nick-a-Nees
Providence, Rhode Island
(Purty much reported as close to verbatim as possible)

“Oh, that’s some old Olympic dude; I remember he was on the Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes box when I was a kid.”

“Richard Jewel, the ultimate patsy. He was a wanna-be cop and he lived with his mother, so it’s textbook right? I hope the cops didn’t mess up his comic book collection too bad when they tossed his house.”

“I hate the word buzz. Everybody’s always got a buzz, catching a buzz, had a buzz, or they want to get buzzed. All these years of evolution and people drinking and the common term winds up buzzed? Just hearing it makes me want to get drunk. Not buzzed, understand?”

“Hey man, don’t forget it was Winston Churchill that said by the time a rumor is trotting around the world the truth hasn’t even put his sneakers on.”

“It ain’t the destination that matters; it’s the thrill of the journey. Just try to avoid all those detours.”

“If you really like a piece of music you should own it in all formats, Cd, vinyl, on the iPod. Everything but an 8-track I guess.”

“I just can’t seem to generate much interest in the current teams. I’m lost in the fog of New England sports cult past. I pine for the days of Joe Foy, Henry Finkel, Dallas Smith and the just departed Mosi Taputu.”

“It may be Scorsese, it sure looked like a Scorsese, a killer visual flair along with some killer flourishes, but I nailed the ending in the first five minutes.”

“The hardest daily or nightly choice in the vast majority of Florida is whether to eat at TGI Fridays, Outback, Applebee’s, and which pharmacy branch to settle on out of the six that swarm both tips of your neighborhood.”

“So I found the joint in the neighborhood behind the school and went in around 4:30, and got bourbon from the bartender and noticed the lone waitress was sleeping sitting up in the corner. She wakes up and says, what the hell is this music, a Christmas song? The cook comes barreling out of the kitchen and says that’s Bing Crosby song and this is a Bing Crosby compilation, and don’t you forget that. I fell in love with the place right there.”

“I took this girl on a date to Boston to see one of my all-time favorite jazz singers, I had all of her albums but I never saw her live, so I was really looking forward to it. Right in the middle of it my date starts telling me that the drummer reminds her of the first guy who ever took her from behind. That’s my luck, all the way. If I was in Amsterdam with a hooker as gorgeous as Marilyn Monroe she'd wind up leaning over my ear to start whispering to me about her favorite jazz singer.”

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